Evolution

Evolution - change over time; adaptation to a new evenriroment; growth sparatically.
From an evolutinary perspective u have made me a better person,
i have grown to know that your "i love yous" mean nothing
and that your soft hugs
and lucous kisses
are sealed with a promise to make me be a fool in love
well i have evovled
i kno now that u are nothin but an environmental disaster waiting to errupt
a volcanic explosion distroying everything in its path
but wht u have not realized is that
evolution
is a non-stop process
that means tht if u didnt kno
i will move on
i will get over u
i will evolve
into a woman you cant handle
strong
and durable
cautious in the future
patient with time
because i will be happy

evolution has taken place
the waterfalls from my eyes have rinsed u from my system
evolution has prepared me to deal with the disaster uve created
and to heal and repair the damage

i have evolved into a better and wiser person that learned
my world will survive
without you.

Your Letter

so this poem i wrote in high school....its elementry but i like it...i hope u do to..lol

You left ur letter nailed to my door
and i believ i told u once before
when u called me a little past nine
that u were nothing and not worth my time
but as i opened ur neatly written letter
it made me imagine that things cud be better
but u were caught up in the games u played
tht u fell in the hole tht u made
as i read u continued to say
the u would want it no other way
for u to have me once more
to hold cherish and adore
u said u loved my personality
and my keen sense of reality
as i got close to the end
noone of this made sense
seeing as tho u went to be with ur future wife
and didnt even give me a good bye
this letter doesnt mean shyt to me
seeing as tho it was written in fraudilant ink
your letter ill keep as proof of ur lies
and THIS time im the one saying goodbye....

Dumb Love

no matter wht he does
no matter wht he says

the words my heart mutters
linger on in my head

i cant shake this feeling
of making the wrong choice

i love him, its dumb love
but its better than no love

lonliness can make you feel
and do dumb things
reguardless of ur name

well today my name is Stupid
cuz im in Dumb Love

G-SPOT

Slippery when wet
round and firm
finger-licken good

soft kisses, small wishes
back-arching, name calling
slowly reaching my top

small spot, soft spot
red button tht says GO!!
erect tounge making circles
so so very slow

two fingers go deep
searching for its niche
while my body shivers
and quivers
being an unprofessional snitch

climax approaching hard and fast
G-SPOT has been hit
no stopping the overflow now!

Mother and Daughter

Mother and Daughter inseparable

without a father figure in either life

they lived off the men who gave them tht pleasure

14 years apart they were like best friends

until Mother took her life

she didnt want her unborn child to be subjected to tht life long disease that
one of her playmates gave her with out her permission

heartbroken by her best friends dealth

Daughter went and found a corner of many where she could vent her pain

... to any male with a fat wallet and erection

shes only been o this earth for 15 years and yet her life is over

2 babies born into this world by a mother who never had a mother herself

they will now become part of the statisic which destroys our society

this is the story of Mother and Daughter
...who engulfed in deadly pleasure

i turned on my tv this morning and the headlining story is "Mother and Daughter killed by sex"

Blue Ocean

Im going HAM on this blog shyt....i think i love it!! anywho heres another poem..i hope u enjoy.


as the waves of my heart disappear
in tht deep blue ocean of my life
all my hidden and burdened
secrets and memories, everything that i have loved
and still do are locked in a box
a burried treasure chest with my loves name on it
that has sunken to the bottom
unable to reach the surface or civilization
and if i ever find him he will have the key to my treasure chest
and only he will be able to unlock it
unlock the true ME
the young
black
determined
hurt
God-Fearing
single mother that i am
and only he will be able to swim in
my deep blue ocean....

Pen and Paper

i wanna write
i wanna put my pen to my paper
and tell them how i feel
maybe they can help me figure out how i feel

i have a lil pink book

with black and white argile on the front

she listens to me pretty often...

but no one can seem to help me figure things out

my heart is heavy

my head is confused

so many emotions and so many thoughts

i was always taught that confusion is of the devil

well he lives in my mind

and sometimes my heart and it hurts

sometimes it gets so bad i have to sit and breathe

or smoke a blakk when neccesary

sometimes i loose my pen in the mix

i can never keep up with them

they are so unreliable and unpredictable too

u only really find 1 or two good pens inn a box

but in the middle of the night when my mind wonders

and the devil starts playin tricks

it always goes back to paper..

sometimes i dont need a pen because the words are written for me

directly TO me

not in a pink book with black and white argile

but a plain book with 2 words on the front

that everytime i read those words

and open that book

someone hears me

they hear my heart

they hear my mind

they ease the pain

they evict the devil

they show me the direction i need to go in

i dont always need a pen

but i will always have HIS word written on my paper

Bible Study

well, i am new to this as u can see.....never been a Blogger before but i thought this might be a good idea to clear my head and to tlk without being interupted for once.

well i went to Bible Study with a good friend of mine today..and i really enjoyed it!! well going to the bible study made me think about alot of things...wht started my mind rolling is this comment..."changing the way u think, will change the way u act" ... and i mean i got BUTTERFLIES...ive sat in my bed and just THOUGHT soo many times...about random things...and more serious things...and sometimes i concluded that i might be slighty crazy...lol...but i got over it. i realized tht what he said was atually tru. i want SO much out of life for me and my child and im prepared to do what i have to to get it but first i must change the way i think. same applies to relationships, i feel like i want one so bad and that i cud be a wonderful woman to sum lucky man but first i need to prepare myself MENTALLY to be a benifit to him. i think so much tht i think WRONG as the saying says, lol.

the other thing that he said was "when u mature ur perception of things changes, u start to see things diffrently" and tht cuddnt be so tru!! i think abt when i was a child wht my household was like and how i thought tht compared to my friends i had a prety decent household not knowing everything tht went on once i went to sleep....compared to now, knowing sum of the things that happend in my household and growing up and learning to take care of things on my own. and who ppl really are in ur life. looking at men in a WHOLE NEW LIGHT. my mind wanders in so many directions tht sumtime i overwhelm my self but i think back to when my perception of wht a man was, was being formed and how screwed up it was compared to now...having a child and realtionship and ppl who only want u for sex and it all stems bak to the way i was/am thinking. my vision of these things are blurry and until i change the way i think my vision will never become clear. until i change the way i think i will never be able to get the things my heart desires out of life...im workin on becoming a better ME and a better mother because i put my mind to it...but unitl i change my thoughts about the world around me my outlook on it will never be a prosperous one. i guess the saying "if u put ur mind to it...." is the same here...but it made me think about all the times i said i wasnt goin bakk to him and anytime he called i went running...but once i had made up my mind tht i was done with the bafoonery...i WAS DONE. i wanna be a good mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee and so on...and to do this i need to start with me!! as do u if thats wht u want to do...so to start im gonna think in a whole new way. i cant allow my circumstance to dictate the way i think or the way i act. i have to mentally and physically gain control and trust in God to make a way even when there may not be a way. i have to learn how to be happy with the skin im in and create the life that i want by first THINKING that i can and then DOING it...my vision wil become clear with time...dammit im seeing alil better as i type. lol well This Is Me...

*deep breath out* well...this blog is meant for me to releave some steam and i THINK i did a good enough job for tonight. lol. idk if u enjoyed my thoughts but if u made it this far THANK YOU FOR READING i do appreciate it. well....Everybody Hates Chris is on...GOTTA GO....**kisses**